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Thursday, May 7th, 2009
12:27 pm - H1N1... bitches
There are worldwide swine flu fears, even though international health experts say the virus is not transmitted by pigs.

People are gullible & continuously choose to remain stupid.
The Media are fucking gestapos still perpetuating it as "SWINE".

"Swine" is just a diversionary nomenclature from what is most likely another man-made, 'invented' disease. Go evolution!

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Monday, May 4th, 2009
8:48 pm - Sexy????
Yeah so... this handsome guy said to me: "Hello beautiful lady"
And I said "Hello, & thank you for saying so"
Him: "You dont have to thank me"
Me: "Of course I do, Im an appreciative, polite sort"
Him: "well being polite isnt always good"
Me: "Really?! There are too many assholes in the world, Id rather set myself apart"
Him: "Not if you wanna be sexy"

Umm... WHAT?!?!!
Oh! Ok! Did I JUST get confirmation that being a fucking nasty, inconsiderate, arrogant bitch is... SEXY??

I asked him as such & he got all bent out of shape... Is this true? If youre a kind, considerate female, youre NOT SEXY?

Jesus, our world is so fucking SKEWED!

current mood: gag me

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Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
6:36 pm - Is it me or.......
...is it really fucked up when someone, who youve been very selfless, caring, giving & loving towards, & who, allegedly, loves you in return, says to you:

"I care about your feelings.... if theyre within reasonable parameters".

WTF does that mean???!!!

To me, without being all "girly" & "female" & shit, the very act of putting a stipulation in place basically negates any genuine care for the other person & their feelings... no?

Or is it me?

Ive actually come across a person who clearly believes that we have to create our own balance in this way: if everything is going great, theres happiness, good times, love, just a really positive bond, feeling good; this person BELIEVES that they need to say or do something petty, mean, forceful to that person in order to have balance. WTF is that??? Does this make sense?? Who the bloody hell would want to destroy the harmony & cause someone they love to feel bad for the sake of some skewed ideas about "balance"??

Or is it me?

*sigh*

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Sunday, June 15th, 2008
10:32 am - A Poignance Less Heeded, But Certainly Needed.....
A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

There are too many people in the world that require absorption of this message for change to come.... I currently know, know of & have known some of them... A monumental fix is a must... ~C.

current mood: Aarrgghhblargh

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Friday, April 4th, 2008
7:27 am - Keep your distance from haunted humans......
Im surrounded with by-gone champagne toasts
And diseased by what you thought loved you most
Still, theres no room for me & your ghosts....

C.2008

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Saturday, March 29th, 2008
4:39 pm - Malavita (Bad Life)...
Ivy around my window sill and Black Thorn in my heart
Morning Glory tells me Verona's falling apart
This side of heaven is amethyst alone
And when I get there I know I'll be home (& you can hear them)
Malavita...
Faces bright with silver stain and crimson in their eyes
Believe the moon is faithful while Neptune's telling lies
This side of heaven is lavendar alone
And when I get there I know I'll be home (& you can hear them)
Malavita...
Now that stardust is paradise lost
Angels cry another lullabye
Tomorrow wants what yesterday haunts
Secret's told, Sahara's cold

-Christiana

current mood: curious

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Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
8:18 pm - The Big Red Mush.....
This is Holly. She is a muscular, 100lb, enormous Bordeaux (French) Mastiff (I mean Christ look at her head next to mine). She is often mistaken, much to the terror of those in the neighborhood, for a freakishly gigantic Pit Bull; yet her temperment is quite different. Shes playful, very loving, affectionate, smart, energetic, & the most insane attention ho ever. I love huge, ominous looking dogs that seem very capable of tearing any human to shreds, but yet, they are sweet & gentle. Gotta love her. Shes so much fun. Plus she likes the kitties a lot.

Photobucket
Holly & Christiana
March 20, 2008

current mood: WOOF!

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Thursday, March 13th, 2008
2:30 pm - THE HINT.....
I get it....

current mood: Detecting

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Monday, March 10th, 2008
9:44 pm - Behind the veil....
So many people never take the time to meander thru someones innards out of fear.
Not me, I take pride in genuinely chartering a vessel into the unknown for an amazing journey...not to be impressed but instead, to be moved... like an apocalypse-jerk... C.


Speak your mind
Everytime
Whether your tongue
Is tame
or land mine
Whether your heart
Is rain
or sunshine...
It could be the difference
Between destiny or fate
Between not soon enough
Or too late...

C. 3/10/08

current mood: Zzzzzzzzz

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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
3:42 pm - FLlCK
I've seen the world in all its darkness, from inside a lightbulb, awaiting Someone to flick the switch once again... to show me a light that matches mine...
And when that switch is finally flicked, the feeling, if only momentarily.... is a pleasurable interrogation...

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Thursday, March 6th, 2008
9:49 pm - This is not a love song.....
It's the long tall story
About your shortened life
No happy endings
No sympathetic sighs
Youre a harmless soldier
In fishnets & violins
Sucking on a cigarette
Counting on your could-have-beens....
You had one eye in the mirror
The other went blind
Your perfect frame
Is all cracked up inside
This twisted baby dressed in black
Is the savior for the times?
God's likeness for all to hail
But youre in no prayers of mine...
You thought you had me
Wrapped around your finger
But my fingers were
Wrapped around your throat.....

-Christiana, timeless commentary for the cynically loved and the blissfully despised...

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Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
5:14 am - Another episode of the Fuck You Chronicles....
Bad women make good women look bad women make good women look bad women make good women look bad....

Heres yer anthem, bitches....

If I was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I'd walk in the rain between the rain drops
Bringing traffic to a halt

If I was beautiful like you
I'd be quick to assume
They'd do anything to please me, why not
I see their reaction when you walk into the room

If I was beautiful like you
I'd have so many friends
All fighting for my time to be next in line
So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends

But that would never be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm Beautiful Like Me....


current mood: waking the dead

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Friday, February 29th, 2008
10:12 am - Lost In Translation.... ?
Im writing a book & you just may be in it.......

I am in the process of putting together my literary works from over the years. Some of which are within this livejournal. Mostly poetry, prose & deep philosophical ramblings whether heartfelt or an absolute fed up seething bowl of "fuck off, Im too good for you"... Of course there may be a bit of my opinionated love of music & my complete disgust for the media, politics, etc. Mantras.... Necessary commentary...

In my travels of the heart, body & mind, I have encountered all kinds - whether within myself or extending advice to my few close friends.
Unfortunately I have come to realize that thoughtfulness, honesty, selflessness, caring & loyalty have seemed to add up to the curious result of Hell & Loneliness. I have been inspired by debilitating sorrow, uncontrollable rage, incredible loss & the (very rare) reality of longing for another person & feeling the ultra highs of passion towards them simultaneously with the plumetting lows of not knowing if it could ever work...
Acute powers of observation make this new ride Im on rife with blissful recollection & discovery, but they also create difficult panoramic views of what simply cannot be held onto for too long, & my attempt at trying to make sense of it all.... ♥

Excerpt 1

Another Philosophical Episode of The Fuck You Chronicles....

Is there a proper word for one who admits thoughts &/or feelings to another, shows a
genuine caring side, makes time within a perpetually chaotic schedule for another,
extends a deep thoughtfulness, just to eventually be conveniently ignored by the other
for whatever reason ie: boredom, novelty wear-off, interest wane, etc???

Indeed. That word is: FOOL

Ladies & Gentlemen, if this defines you & your situation, vacate at once.
Remember when they said you were unique & gorgeous?
Now youre just another face in the harem? Vacate.
Remember their attentiveness, that you recipricated, only to have them suddenly become all mental patient & back off? Vacate.
Memories are blissful escapes or monsters that can haunt you....
Life is too short to give away rare goodness to energy vampires.....

Cheers,
Xtiana



Excerpt 2

There are those of us who refuse to be told 'what is art' and 'what is beauty'; we go against the grains of societal trappings and have the forethought and ability to embrace the true essence of our own personal opinions and ideas without interference from the noxious dementia of the media.
- Christiana



Excerpt 3

Its the time, the effort, the thoughtfulness that one puts into another that reveals the true friend.... its the lack of time, convienent memory loss & blatant neglect from the other that reveals the true fiend...."
- Christiana 12/12/07


current mood: work work workin day & night

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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
1:00 am - Poison control for the soul....
THE PLANK

As I stand high on a wooden plank
And stare at my life, a complicated sea
Though I’ve been illustrated & gracefully blank
These turbulences stare back at me...
I wonder was it worth the ride
Worth all the tomorrows, yesterdays & years
To watch them wash with the tide
Of my ever-flowing tears...
A queen, though not of royalty
A monarch, only in art
A truth, besieged with loyalty
Necessary for my heart...
Apologetic, if I’ve wronged
Selfless to a fault
Happiness, what I’ve longed
Behind stone, cage & vault...
The key possessed; pristine & pearled
I thought its magic a wonder
It rarely unlocks the doors to this world
Or keeps the tide from pulling under...
So I stand high on a plank of wood
And stare at my soul, a turbulent sea
Though black n bruised, or goddess good
The waves give birth to a new me...

Christiana 2007/2008


current mood: paved in shadows...

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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
12:15 pm - Spiritual Cramp

Often I am inspired by things that are dark & graven. Other times I can be hit with a twist of positive mindscaping... 

Regardless, I feel, & Im glad I can & face it head on, horns & all.... my heart is a passionate beast that is willing to oblige inspiration whenever it shows its many faces....

DAMN MY HEART

Damn the waves that drown my lungs
Damn the nails where pictures hung
Damn the love from end to start
Damn my heart.....

Damn the bruise that stapled my eyes
Damn the hell in heaven's disguise
Damn the bullets that broke me apart
Damn my heart.....

In solitary, I've walked this path
Thru ceremonies that kill
In the rain or acid bath
Im walking there still...

Damn the time that ticks away
Damn the night that turns to day
Damn the blood that fuels my art
Damn my heart....

Christiana 2/3/08
 



current mood: artistic

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Thursday, December 20th, 2007
12:44 am - Rediscovery...

I havent written in this journal in forever & a day... Life got in the way. Since moving back to NY, Im further evolving...

Wow.... Im speechless at the flood of manic  cosmic whirling that has engulfed me of late....

In this world that spits & shines
Rife with roses or land mines
And each time Ive walked ahead
One step alive,Two steps dead....

One eye closed for half the destruction
Keeping sane from malady
One eye open for vision & function
Mystery achieved, from blind to see...

C. 12/2007



current mood: Dynamic

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Thursday, January 20th, 2005
4:38 pm - "they say its only a paper moon, sailing over a cardboard sea....
.... but it wouldnt be make-believe, if you believe in me...."

The Damned know how to return....

It just hit me, finally....
Its kind of like when you stub your toe.
When youre completely selfless to a friend; someone you really like & care about, cuz you know it will bring them some much-needed joy. Just being there, stimulating, sharing infinite knowledge from far off lands in a quest to unearth lost or unknown treasures of Esoterica. Making paths thru the rain & hell, happily anticipating any exchange. Any ocean or sahara to bring a smile to their face, a new thought to their mind & some peace in their obliterated soul. Effortlessly like a personal rain cloud to a willing sponge. Then, for reasons unbeknownst to you, they callously cut you off without proper explanation. Connection sliced. Respect is dead. A friendship commits suicide in front of you. A memory, a ghost carves the epitaph. Full Stop. Its kind of like when you stub your toe.
It just hit me... finally.... black n blue n bloodied thru.

Im not much in the market for unexpected flights of twisted fanciful reason; that which reason has not been divulged. Im in the catacombs on the corner of 'confused & perplexed'. I still dont know 'why'. Abandonment has many faces; it even takes up residence on those who have been irrepairably damaged by it. Is that hypocracy? I shouldnt care anymore, but theres no camamile for this kind of sick. In the mean time, "Im just standin in a door way.... Im just tryin to make some sense"...
"Sometimes a beautiful face can change from vague to vicious" -C.

current mood: stitches split

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Saturday, July 24th, 2004
1:13 pm - DIP YOUR HANDKERCHIEF IN MY BLOOD....
I learned when I was just 17
To be forgotten was a bit obscene
But that dont really matter much to you
So when I was just 21
I went out & I bought a gun...



we that create are at the mercy or our hearts desires & demons

current mood: Nix Nought Nothing

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
12:32 am - skin and bone are turned to twilight...
"They tell us we are weak - unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be when we are totally disarmed? Shall we aquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies have bound us hand and foot? We are not weak. We shall not fight our battles alone. The battle, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Many cry 'Peace'- but there is no peace."



current mood: emotional cyclone

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Sunday, July 18th, 2004
12:12 am - fire/water = life, fire/water = destruction
My heart is full of all these dark yet occasionally bright things. Putting them in perspective isn't always a challenge...

current mood: spells, do they work?

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